The deets.

As promised, details!

I haven't mentioned this before, and I don't know why I haven't - it's not like I'm going to magically develop stalkers or anything - but EC and I are getting married in the Kansas City, Missouri area. And this is where it gets interesting.

My immediate family lives in Ohio, and my extended family (what little there is) lives in Ontario, Canada. EC's family (all of it, I think, not that there's much of his family either) lives in Texas. We currently live in Washington state, and the chances of us moving prior to the wedding are pretty good, depending on his job. So we figured, since we met in Kansas City, and both have a pretty good number of friends there, and our families were going to have to travel anyhow... why not just get married there? Having lived in KC for a good 9 years or so, I was pretty familiar with the available wedding venues, and the rest I could learn on the fly. So that's what happened.

We've got a trip back to KC planned for October, where we're going to take care of some wedding things (take our engagement photos, meet with our officiant, hopefully find a DJ, participate in a tasting at the caterer's) and some non-wedding things (an appointment with my doctor, hanging with friends), and then we head down to Texas to see EC's family for a bit. It's going to take a a whole week, and I can't wait!

So here's what we've arranged so far:

We are getting married at Powell Gardens, Kansas City's botanical gardens that are 20-30 minutes east of KC proper. The actual ceremony will be in their Marjorie Powell Allen Chapel, and the reception will be in their newly-constructed Missouri Star Barn. Which isn't really a barn, per se... it's more of a lean-to area that looks like a barn (the enclosed area of the barn is a gift shop and the kitchens). I can't really find any pictures of the barn just yet, but boy does Powell Gardens have a nice blog! OK, well, here's one, kind of. You'll be able to get a nice aerial view of the surrounding gardens from the silo, but the structure to the left of it is our barn. Yay!

[Stepping aside for a moment, the chapel was designed by architect Fay Jones, who was one of Frank Lloyd Wright's apprentices and was a Taliesin Fellow - and since we both like FLW, his gorgeous art glass is going to be what our invitation suite will be designed around.]

[Stepping aside again, I would have loved for our reception to be in a barn barn but couldn't really find one around town where they took care of everything - we would have had to find a caterer, which isn't so bad, but we also would have had to bring in tables, chairs, serviceware, everything, and we didn't want to mess with that.]

The other part of the wedding that I'm really excited about is our photographer. Now, way before EC proposed, I'd figured he was the one and was hoping he'd pop the question, so I'd been doing wedding research for a while by then. As a matter of fact, a friend of mine was getting married in October '08, so the year prior (a mere 6 or so months after we'd started dating), "in the interest of helping her out", I attended a workshop with her on How To Plan A Wedding Without Becoming A Bridezilla. The girl who presented the workshop was a recent bride, and she gave a number of resources on wedding vendors in the KC area. And I fell in love with her photographers. Unfortunately, she had booked them when they had just started out, and their prices had risen. A lot. Way beyond my budget. So I had to get creative, and poke around websites like the Knot and weddingwire.com and such looking for alternates.

You should have SEEN my initial list of potential photographers! And this was with me being picky! I wanted the look of the photographers I loved at a fraction of their cost. And still, my initial list was a huge spreadsheet that I think kind of scared EC when I first sent it to him. Of course, I started whittling it down, being ruthless in my standards and budget constraints, and came down to about 3 photographers. I met one, and liked her, but she was from out of town and was brand-new to the industry, and I didn't want to chance my forever memories of our wedding to still-developing photography. The second photographer I met, I adored. Loved her. She had a great eye, and a great look, and her price was within our budget, although just sliiiightly higher. I didn't care. I wanted her. So when Ted came to town, I scheduled another meeting so he could meet her, and that was it! We booked her as our photographer, and I couldn't be happier. Her name is Claire Ryser, and she is the owner of Visionaire Studios. Just look at her photos! I hope ours turn out even half as nice as the ones she's been taking lately. This will be interesting, because EC isn't a romantic kind of guy - he's more of a joker - so those photos where we're gazing lovingly into each other's eyes probably aren't happening. Haha.

These are the two biggies. Well, three, since with Powell Gardens we automatically get their caterer, Cafe Thyme. And you know I already have my dress. -es. Dresses, plural. Still have to sell the first one!

I think I'm going to cut things off here and continue later with the rest of our vendors, who actually are kind of friendors, really, since they're people we know who do these things either professionally or somewhat so. I still need to set up our wedding website, and we definitely have to start working on our guest list! But otherwise, I think we're pretty well set up, for being just under 9 months to go. Famous last words, eh?

Howdy, stranger.

I've been really remiss in updating this blog, because real life got in the way. As I mentioned in my last post, I was laid off from my job, and decided to move out to the West Coast. So I took just a little over 2 months to finish up my house to put it on the market (oy what a lot of work that was!) and have been here almost a month now.

EC came out for a week's visit during those 2 months and we actually managed to get a lot done for the wedding. We booked our photographer (the second one that I really liked), and booked our first choice of venue, a gorgeous botanical garden (I'm thrilled!). Not only that, but we have our officiant lined up (EC's youth pastor while he was growing up), a family friend will be doing our flowers for us, and a friend of mine is going to be making our cake. Since the ceremony and reception are going to be taking place in the same general location, we don't have to arrange transportation, and the caterer automatically comes with the venue. It's a little pricier this way, but I was going to have to make some sacrifices to have my semi-unique wedding. (so described because it's not a church wedding/hotel or banquet facility reception)

EC and I are wanting to keep things relatively simple, so our entire wedding party will be my sister as Maid of Honor and his best friend as his Best Man. That's it! Well, and his niece and my friend's daughter as flower girls. No ring bearer - I mean, come on, it's a pillow holding fake rings.

I'll get into specifics in another post.

So next up - coming up with a design for our invitations. I wanted to design them myself and have them printed at an Office Max or something, but I don't know Adobe Illustrator or InDesign at all. I might have to outsource this part of our invites, haha.

Oh, and trying to get in shape for our wedding and engagement photos. The photo session is coming up in 3 months when we come back to town for a short visit. There's nothing like important pictures to put a bee in your bonnet to get into shape!

Small bump in the road

I've been a little quiet lately - it's not because I haven't been doing anything. I've visited two possible venue sites (for both wedding and reception) and taken pictures for EC. I've met with one photographer, and will meet with another one next week. And in just over two weeks, EC will come to town and we'll book our venue! Exciting stuff.

The bump in the road, however, is the fact that I was laid off earlier this month. After some anger, I realized that maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Because not only did my mom say I should move out with her, but EC invited me as well. And sorry Mom, but I'm going to choose my fiance, especially since we'll have been in a long-distance relationship for almost 2 years by the time I move. That's like 1 year longer than I thought it might be, and I'm surprised we survived, haha. Not really, but it wasn't easy.

So I'll be moving out to the west coast at the end of May - but we're still getting married here in the Midwest. It'll just be a destination wedding for us, haha, as EC said. I don't think it'll affect the planning too much - the caterer comes with the venue, we've got our florist lined up (a family friend), and the cake won't be hard.. it might be hard finding a decent DJ though, and the hair/makeup trial will be interesting too.

But I'm excited! I finally get to be with my fiance! The fly in the ointment will be selling my house, but luckily my previous employer gave me a decent severance package so I'll be able to survive on unemployment and that for a while. Hopefully it sells quickly - it's going to be a crapshoot, what with this depressed real estate market. But that's OK - he's so worth it!

Newsflash!

I came to a realization this morning, and it's a biggie. You ready? OK.

Did you know that women? and men? sooooo don't think about weddings the same way.

Yes! I know! Really insightful, isn't it?

The conversation that prompted my new awareness happened last night between me and EC. We're still in the early stages of wedding planning, so a lot of my wedding talk has been of venues and photographers. Apparently, the ratio of everyday stuff to wedding stuff in my conversation lately is a little heavy on the latter. So I asked him whether I have started to annoy him with all my wedding talk. And he responded with something like, "Well yes, sometimes. Not right now, though."

Yow. When you're in a long-distance relationship, phone conversations are all that you have. Well, that, and email, too, really. And I've been all gung-ho on the planning because I'm all about options and possibilities and seeing how they might work out... and you know? Men really aren't that way. At least, not when it's about weddings, it seems. And I've been so focused on the different choices out there that they're all I can talk about, and annoying my fiance in the process. Go me.

I think it might be a little different if we were living together, and not long-distance. But still, I think every guy has some level of wedding blather that he can tolerate, and it's probably lower when your communication is limited to an email or two and about 45 minutes on the phone a day.

Well, lesson learned. I'm going to shut it for a while regarding the wedding. Really, it's not like I have anything new to say about it anyhow - until I can go out to these few sites and take pictures, and until EC can see them in person, we're kind of at a standstill. I'm sure he'll be relieved. I bet he's probably dreading his visit a little, though. Haha. Can't do much about that - site visits and photographer meetings have to be done, unless he wants to just go get a quickie courthouse wedding... and I really don't think I'll mention that because he just might go for it!

Thanks, Mother Nature!

Woohoo, my dress is in! I had an appointment this afternoon to go try it on before I take it home (since I've heard horror stories about David's Bridal about how the dress was either too small or too large or damaged somehow, and once you take it home, that's it, the only way they'll fix it is with pricey alterations or whatever. So you have to inspect it at the store before you take it home)... but we're being blanketed by a freak winter storm today.

It started with rain this morning, then moved onto my favorite - freezing rain, then it started sleeting, and now it's snowing heavily. This is just so WRONG! My friend who was going with me called me and said it'd take her 15 minutes just to get out of her subdivision, so I called and rescheduled my appointment for tomorrow. I just hope the roads are better by then. (Eek, I hope my rose bushes are OK too - I'd done the spring trimming last week already.)

At any rate, I've now narrowed my photographer list down to 3 candidates. There's one that's a better deal than the other two, but she lives about 3 hours away, so I have to hope that she's got an event here sometime in the near future so I can look at some complete weddings she's shot and make sure our visions and personalities mesh.

The venue search is going OK. There's one place that's far and away my favorite place (not the one I'd referred to in earlier posts - that one's out of the running) - it's a breathtaking venue, but it's a little pricey, and we'd be locked into using their caterer, who upcharges $8/person just to turn plasticware into china/glass/flatware. The only way we could make it fit is if we host a cocktail hour and then turn it into a cash bar. But if that option doesn't work, I've found a site at a local golf course that's less expensive. It doesn't have the same impact as my favorite site, but it's not a horrible alternate.

I'm still looking, though. Isn't this fun?? Haha. I'll be glad when these two things are locked down. To be honest, wedding planning is a little overwhelming, but I think I can handle it. I have a clear idea of what I want. The tricky part is executing it. But at least I have a vision, and that's half the battle! (The other half is getting EC's thoughts, haha.)

The Long-Distance Blues

Planning a wedding is never an easy thing. Unless you have the wherewithal to hire a wedding planner, which I don't. But planning a wedding while your fiance is across the country? Whoa momma. The silver lining to my cloud is that at least I live in the same city as the event. I couldn't imagine trying to plan a wedding being long-distance myself!

Anyhow, since I'm local, and am more familiar with certain aspects of the wedding scene than he is, I've sort of taken on the role of finding suitable locations and photographers (the only things we're working on right now, since they're the biggies). I build a spreadsheet listing things that we'd like for them to have, mark which venue/photographers have which options and as much cost information as I have so far, and send it to him to look at. However, since I kind of went gung ho during the research phase, those are pretty long lists. Again, I say, I feel sorry for my fiance. Haha. So right now I'm trying to go through them and cull them down, being merciless. This photographer is just too expensive. Snip. That venue would require us to set up and take down tables/chairs and charges a lot for rental on top of it. Chop!

But I think the hardest thing I've experienced so far is that we have to have all of our conversations by phone, where you can miss a lot of nuances that you otherwise have when you talk in person. Just tonight we had a misunderstanding where he said one thing, I heard another, and then got all drama queen on him complete with tears.
Which surprises the heck out of me, to be honest - I never thought I'd be one of those hystrionic kinds of girls. EC (my fiance - because typing 'my fiance' every single time I refer to him is ridiculous) asked me suspiciously, "Have you been watching those wedding shows lately?" I can only assume he means "Bridezillas," haha.

At any rate, while he was frustrated and I was teary, we eventually sorted things out. I mean, there are still basic things that are still up in the air (eg budget), but I think we're making progress. And really, it's in my best interest to whittle down these lists to just a few possibilities, because I "get" to drive out to these venues and take pictures to send back to EC to look at. Hm, 6 venues to visit vs 22? No contest.

Don't stop believing!

Picture it: a man stands in front of family and friends with his groomsmen and the officiant. A string ensemble plays a familiar tune.. wait, is it... Don't Stop Believing?

Yes it is, and you would be watching "The Wedding Singer."



Right now the wedding planning is more like... sorting and evaluating of options. But in the meantime, I think it would be totally COOL if I could have "Don't Stop Believing" played on the strings at my wedding. Funny thing is, I totally can, and I don't even have to shell out big bucks for a live string quartet!

Thanks, Vitamin String Quartet!

The only difference being - I won't leave my fiance standing at the altar. :)